Loss & bereavement
Understanding grief
Grief is not an illness to be cured. It is the form love takes when the person is gone — and it has a physical, mental and social shape.
What grief does to the body and mind
- Exhaustion, chest tightness, appetite loss, a hollow feeling in the stomach.
- Poor concentration and memory — people genuinely lose keys, appointments and words.
- Vivid dreams, and moments of hearing or seeing them. Common, and not a sign of losing your mind.
- Waves that arrive without warning, often triggered by the smallest things.
- Lowered immunity and higher blood pressure in the first months — grief is physical.
The oscillation
Healthy grieving swings between confronting the loss and getting on with life — crying in the morning, laughing at lunch. This oscillation is not avoidance; it is how humans metabolise loss.
People who cannot swing in either direction — permanently distracted or permanently submerged — tend to be the ones who need extra help.
How long
There is no schedule. Most people find the acute, disabling phase eases over the first year, with anniversaries and reminders remaining sharp for much longer.
The aim is not to stop missing them. It is to carry the loss in a way that leaves room for a life.
Where to go next
Afya Companion offers education and self-help support. It does not diagnose, treat or replace care from your doctor, nurse, psychologist or dietitian. If something in your health changes, speak to your care team.