Loss & bereavement
Myths about grief
Most unhelpful advice comes from a handful of persistent myths. Here they are, dismantled.
FamilyCaregiver
The myths
- 'Grief takes a year.' — It has no timetable; the second year is often harder than the first.
- 'You have to talk about it to heal.' — Some people process by doing, not talking. Both work.
- 'Crying means you're not coping.' — Crying is coping in progress.
- 'Not crying means you didn't love them.' — Numbness and practicality are also grief.
- 'You need closure.' — Losses do not close. They integrate.
- 'Getting rid of their things helps you move on.' — Move at your own pace; there is no deadline.
- 'Time heals everything.' — Time alone does very little. What you do with the time matters.
- 'You should be over it by now.' — Nobody gets to set that date for you.
What to say to people who repeat them
You are allowed a stock reply: 'I'm doing it my own way, thank you.' You do not owe anyone an explanation of your grief.
Afya Companion offers education and self-help support. It does not diagnose, treat or replace care from your doctor, nurse, psychologist or dietitian. If something in your health changes, speak to your care team.