Psychological support
12. Meaning-making after diagnosis
Not 'everything happens for a reason'. Meaning here is what you decide this time will be used for.
PatientCaregiverFamily
Four sources of meaning
- Creative — what you make, do or contribute, at any scale.
- Experiential — what you receive: love, beauty, music, nature, faith.
- Attitudinal — the stance you take towards unavoidable suffering. Available even when everything else is gone.
- Legacy — what continues after you: relationships, stories, values, things you built or taught.
Questions to sit with
- What has my life been about so far?
- What am I most proud of, and who knows that story?
- What do I want the next months to be used for?
- What would I regret leaving unsaid?
- Who do I want to be in this, regardless of the outcome?
A warning about forced positivity
Some people find growth after illness; many do not, and demanding it of yourself adds a second burden — failing at suffering correctly.
You are allowed to conclude that this is simply bad and unfair, and still choose what to do with the time.
Try this
Legacy letter
About 30 minutes
- 1Choose one person.
- 2Write what you want them to know about who they are to you.
- 3Include one story only you remember.
- 4Include one thing you hope for them.
- 5Decide whether to give it now or leave it. Both are valid.
Where to go next
Afya Companion offers education and self-help support. It does not diagnose, treat or replace care from your doctor, nurse, psychologist or dietitian. If something in your health changes, speak to your care team.