Psychological support
6. Coping skills
There is no universally best coping style. There is only matching the strategy to whether the situation can be changed.
PatientCaregiverFamily
Three families of coping
- Problem-focused — change the situation. Best when you have influence: symptom control, information, logistics, money.
- Emotion-focused — change your relationship to the feeling. Best when the situation is fixed: prognosis, other people's behaviour, the past.
- Meaning-focused — reframe purpose and value. Best in long or terminal illness, where neither of the above resolves it.
The mismatch problem
Distress often comes from using the wrong family. Endlessly problem-solving something unchangeable produces rumination; only soothing feelings about something fixable produces helplessness.
Ask first: can this be changed? Then choose accordingly.
Coping that costs more than it gives
- Alcohol and non-prescribed drugs.
- Total avoidance — of appointments, letters, people.
- Compulsive symptom searching online.
- Cutting off everyone in order to 'not be a burden'.
- Overworking to outrun the feelings.
Build a personal coping card
- 1List five things that reliably help you, however small.
- 2List two people you can contact, with numbers.
- 3List one thing to avoid when you are struggling.
- 4Add one sentence you want to read on a bad day.
- 5Keep it in your wallet or as your phone's lock screen.
Where to go next
Afya Companion offers education and self-help support. It does not diagnose, treat or replace care from your doctor, nurse, psychologist or dietitian. If something in your health changes, speak to your care team.