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For family & loved ones

Family support

The family meeting guide

One structured hour prevents weeks of misfiring group messages. Here is a format that works.

FamilyCaregiver

Before

  • Agree the purpose in one sentence and send it out in advance.
  • Ask the patient what they want said, and whether they want to be there.
  • Pick a time that suits the fewest excuses, and cap it at one hour.
  • Include people who are far away by phone or video — exclusion breeds conflict.
  • Ask everyone to bring one concern and one offer of help.

The agenda

  1. 1Five minutes: where things stand medically, from the agreed point of contact.
  2. 2Ten minutes: the patient's own wishes, in their words if possible.
  3. 3Fifteen minutes: what needs doing — the task list, read out loud.
  4. 4Fifteen minutes: who does what, by when. Write names against tasks.
  5. 5Ten minutes: money, paperwork and legal items.
  6. 6Five minutes: what we will each do to look after ourselves, and when we meet next.

Rules for the room

  • One person speaks at a time; everyone gets a turn before anyone gets a second.
  • No re-litigating the past.
  • Disagreement is allowed; contempt is not.
  • Decisions get written down and circulated the same day.
  • If it becomes heated, break for ten minutes rather than pushing through.

Where to go next

Afya Companion offers education and self-help support. It does not diagnose, treat or replace care from your doctor, nurse, psychologist or dietitian. If something in your health changes, speak to your care team.

Afya CompanionYou are not alone in your care journey. Education and self-help support; not a substitute for professional medical care.