Caregiver support
Your own emotions as a caregiver
Grief, anger, resentment, relief and love, often in the same hour. All of it is normal; none of it makes you a bad person.
CaregiverFamily
The feelings nobody admits to
- Resentment towards the person who is ill.
- Wishing it were over — for them, or for you.
- Relief when they are admitted to hospital.
- Jealousy of friends whose lives continue normally.
- Anger at other relatives who visit once and are praised.
- Grief that started long before any death.
Why they are normal
Ambivalence is the signature of love under pressure. You can be devoted and exhausted, loving and furious, at the same time. Feelings are not intentions, and having them changes nothing about the care you give.
What harms people is not the feeling but the silence around it. Said out loud to a safe person, most of these lose their charge within minutes.
Where to say it
- A caregiver support group — the one place these sentences are unremarkable.
- A counsellor of your own, separate from the patient's team.
- An anonymous space, if naming it aloud feels impossible yet.
- A journal, if you are not ready to say it to anyone.
Where to go next
Afya Companion offers education and self-help support. It does not diagnose, treat or replace care from your doctor, nurse, psychologist or dietitian. If something in your health changes, speak to your care team.