Burnout

The three components

• Exhaustion — emptied out, physically and emotionally, and sleep does not fix it.
• Detachment — going through the motions, feeling numb or cynical about caring tasks or the person.
• Ineffectiveness — 'nothing I do makes any difference', even when it plainly does.

Red flags that need action this week

• You have shouted at, roughly handled, or wanted to hurt the person you care for.
• You are drinking more, or using medication to get through the day.
• You have thoughts of harming yourself, or of not waking up.
• You are making medication or safety errors you would not normally make.
• You have not left the house in more than a week.

Recovery is structural, then personal

1. 1Get one full night of protected sleep — arrange cover, even once.
2. 2Hand over three tasks permanently, not temporarily.
3. 3Book your own health appointment, and say the word 'caregiver' out loud in it.
4. 4Re-establish one thing that is yours: an hour a week, non-negotiable.
5. 5Get support that is about you, not about the patient — a caregiver group or counsellor.

If you have thought about hurting them or yourself

This happens to ordinary, loving people under extreme strain, and it is a signal that the situation is unsafe rather than that you are a bad person. Tell someone today — your doctor, the care team, a crisis line. Respite and support exist for exactly this.