Loss & bereavement
When grief becomes complicated
A minority of bereaved people develop grief that stays acute and disabling. It is recognised, it is not a character flaw, and it responds to specific treatment.
FamilyCaregiver
Signs to take seriously
- Twelve months on (six for children) and the intensity has not shifted at all.
- Intense daily yearning that stops you functioning.
- Inability to accept the death, or to look at anything connected with it.
- Complete avoidance of reminders — or the opposite, total immersion in them.
- Feeling that life has no meaning and no future without them.
- Persistent self-blame, or wishing to die to be with them.
What raises the risk
- Sudden, violent or traumatic death.
- The death of a child.
- A relationship that was highly dependent, or unresolved and conflicted.
- Multiple losses close together.
- Little social support, or existing depression, anxiety or trauma.
What helps
Specific therapies for prolonged grief exist and work better than general counselling — usually combining exposure to the loss story, restoring goals, and structured work on the relationship with the person who died.
Ask your doctor for a referral, and say explicitly that grief has not shifted in over a year.
Where to go next
Afya Companion offers education and self-help support. It does not diagnose, treat or replace care from your doctor, nurse, psychologist or dietitian. If something in your health changes, speak to your care team.