Loss & bereavement
Anniversaries, birthdays and firsts
The dread beforehand is often worse than the day itself. Planning turns an ambush into something you chose.
FamilyCaregiver
Which dates hit hardest
- The date of death, and the date of the diagnosis.
- Their birthday, and your own.
- Wedding anniversaries.
- Religious festivals and family holidays.
- Unexpected ones: the first spring, the first time you need their advice.
Plan the day
- 1Decide in advance where you will be and who with — do not leave it to chance.
- 2Choose one act of remembrance: a visit, a candle, a meal they loved, a walk.
- 3Give yourself an exit from anything you have agreed to.
- 4Tell people the day is coming; being remembered by others helps enormously.
- 5Plan the evening as well as the day — the drop often comes at night.
If you want to ignore it
That is allowed too. Some people do better with an ordinary working day. The important thing is that you decided, rather than being caught unprepared.
Afya Companion offers education and self-help support. It does not diagnose, treat or replace care from your doctor, nurse, psychologist or dietitian. If something in your health changes, speak to your care team.