Anticipatory grief
Memory making
Not bucket lists. Small, achievable moments that will matter more later than any trip abroad.
Scale it to their energy
- A meal at home with the people who matter, rather than an exhausting trip.
- Watching a familiar film together for the last time on purpose.
- A drive to a place that means something, even without getting out of the car.
- Hand casts or handprints, especially with children and grandchildren.
- A photograph of everyone together, taken properly rather than as an afterthought.
- Ordinary afternoons, deliberately noticed.
Include the children
Children who take part in memory-making — a shared album, a planted tree, a jar of notes — grieve with something to hold rather than only an absence.
Let them choose their own contribution, and keep it optional.
A note on photographs
Many families avoid photographing someone who looks unwell, then afterwards regret having no images of the last months.
Ask them. Some will hate it; many are glad to be seen as they are and remembered as present, not absent.
Afya Companion offers education and self-help support. It does not diagnose, treat or replace care from your doctor, nurse, psychologist or dietitian. If something in your health changes, speak to your care team.